Pie a week: part 3

Gosh I'm lazy!
Two (!) weekends ago I went home to Marbletown to pick pumpkins and bake pies with my family. Bliss. The pie this week was found on my biffle Martha Stewart's website. (haters to the left!!) Considering Martha's caliber I was surprised to find so many things wrong with this recipe. I mean we all make mistakes, but if they are noticeable enough for this little robot to pick up on then maybe you need to take a look at yourself in the mirror Martha. Come on, you're better than this. Moving on!
The Pear-Cranberry pie with Faux Lattice:
First off, the crust was a pate brisee, which is a very basic crust recipe. however, it called for 18 tablespoons of butter. Shmoops had the kitchen well stocked for me, as always, but did not assume that i would need more than 2 stick of butter. which i really shouldn't have, someone fell asleep at the test kitchen. So instead of mixing "real" butter with "fake" butter (she has various tubs of the vegan butter; equally good but the thought of mixing made me nervous) I used what we had, which was a still staggering two sticks. in they went! and a very nice crust came out. Mark your recipes friends.
Next came the filling, which is always pretty much the same. cut fruit, throw in bowl, brown sugar, cornstarch etc etc. But again I found a glitch in the recipe. it called for 24oz of cranberries. oooookay. That was just bananas. the top crust wouldn't have fit over the heaping mound of cranberries. The pears would get none of the attention they so respectfully deserve! nuh-uh. not on my watch Miz Stewart. I still put in about 18oz, and it was more of a Cranberry-Pear pie if you know what I mean. (see what i did there?!)
It took about 100 minutes to cook, so at 11:45 pm, after I woke up my patient and hungry parents, it was ready. Shmoops- loved it. Dan- will eat anything. Sunny Robot- less than thrilled. I liked the crust! but the cranberry was just too much, man. the vague hint of pear was nice, soft and sweet surprises speckled through a sea of tart berries.

In conclusion, trial and error my dear readers. carry a pencil at all times and revise, revise, revise. Good luck out there, don't believe everything you read.

Pie a week Part 1

(the warm glow of the fridge at night)

sorry for the backwards post, clearly I have been out of the loop for far too long.
My first installment for the PAW(awwwww!) project was a key lime meringue pie. and it did not come easily for me....
I wanted to make a key lime pie, Jamie wanted a key lime meringue pie. Trying to be accommodating I agreed to the slight alteration and went shopping. First obstacle, not only could I not find key limes, they were also about twice as much as "regular" limes(upon some investigation), and I would have to buy twice as many because they are so damn small. The biggest difference is that they are a bit sweeter than other limes, and since i was topping the pie with a meringue (the epitome of sweet) I decided it was a sacrifice I was willing to make.
The crust was a graham cracker crust, which is so amazing I want all pie crusts to be graham cracker crusts. melt butter. crush crackers. DONE. <3333333
The two components of the pie, the lime filling and the meringue were not problems themselves. It was marrying the two of them that nearly caused me to have a stroke.
You see, the filling is made with eggs, and they have to be cooked so you aren't consuming 8 raw eggs and suing your dear baker (that's me). but also, the meringue has to be baked so the top sets and has that nice burnt affect (oh yea, and also to cook the egg whites. however there is a disclaimer on the recipe that the whites might not be cooked entirely, so eat with caution. but it is only 3 whites and come on, live a little!) So since i had a recipe for lemon meringue pie and Key lime pie, I had to do some adjustments and here is where my world collapsed. What i should have done was searched for a recipe for lime meringue pie. i should have made it simple and just replaced the limes with the lemon in the lemon meringue pie. boom, done. but i made things about 5,000 time more complicated. and that was fun(ish). and actually, it was not complicated at all, I just worried about it so much and convinced myself i had just added 2 hours of work onto my project, when really? I just needed to chill out, and tweak out the recipe on my own. (which i notoriously hate doing)
I baked the pie for 18 minutes (it called for 22), then i dolloped the meringue on the top and cooked for an additional 12 minutes. now the filling had cooked completely to avoid a dreadful case of salmonella, and the meringue looked awesome. yea, i said it....i looked awesome.

pie a week part 2

Gosh, this project is getting exciting! and by exciting i mean, if i keep ruining each pie I make it will make for some great reading. up this week, Ginger Buttermilk Pie!
Saturday i spent the day watching LOST and eating potato chips. I mean the entire day. Which was amazing and exactly what i needed, but when evening rolled around and it was time to begin baking a pie, i did not want to ruin my shut-in streak by going outside for any ingredients. and it was gross out....i think? So i pulled my cookbooks onto my bed and started leafing through the pages; colorful fruit pies were out- no fruit. creamy chocolate pies were out- no chocolate...or cream for that matter. Then one jumped into my path that i could not take my eyes off, perhaps for the sole reason it made no sense to me. Ginger Buttermilk. Ginger BUTTERMILK?! I went down the list of ingredients, and started checking them off if they already resided in my pantry. All of them did, and so i began.
the first and hardest step is always the crust. I love making pies, and have great fun making homemade crust, but as I was making this one I forgot why. Entirely. it was silly, just plain silly. Canola oil and not enough flour and milk and come ON! it just didn't make sense....it didn't feel right. but i pushed on, continuing my ongoing quest to find the perfect pie crust.
As i rolled it out i cursed a bit and then made up with some some sweet talking, but it was tearing and I found that the amount of flour i used on the rolling pin and counter should have been added in the recipe to make it more manageable. So i made a little note and kept on truckin'. it was barely the size of the pie pin, so i did some patchwork and figured it was going to be on the bottom of the pie, who the hell cares?? no one! that's who. So I popped it in the oven with some cookie cutters acting as pie weights and began the filling.
The filling was easy as pie (that never gets old). all the ingredients into a blender (eggs, ginger, buttermilk, cinnamon, salt) and mixed until it well blended but not foamy. It looked fantastic and creamy and thick and i had high hopes indeed. I poured it into the baked crust and took a break for one moment to get a drink.i turn my back for ONE second and when i come back half of the custard had leaked onto the counter. ok. OKOKOKOK. apparently there was a small tear in the bottom of the crust. rats.
the problem: my pie tins have holes on the bottom, to help with proper heat distribution.
the (weak) rationale: it will cook so quickly it wont' leak! and i will put it on baking sheet to catch any excess! (HAHAHAHAHA)

needless to say, i put it on a baking sheet, threw it in the oven and started worrying. (oh and i burnt my thumb when taking off the cookie cutter/pie weights so i was grumpy about that already!) The pie was supposed to stay in for 22 minutes, and by minute 8 it looked like this:

and. that, my dear friends, is when i gave up the little hope i had. Pie a week Project part 2? FAIL.
xo-TSR

*sidenote: once it came out of the oven i ate a bit of the guts, and it was very good. Weightless, with just a hint of ginger, a lovely custard I would like to try again. The crust though? the quest continues.

and then there was one

DAY LEFT!
of school.

how the hell that happened i can't quite say. Since i took weekend classes, between work and school it never seemed to stop, which I think contributes the feeling of everything flying by. In January I started Mod 1 at ICE with 13 other people. This Saturday I will be finishing Mod 4 with 11 others. A pretty successful graduating number, I think. Although I have an internship to complete before I get the gold-plated diploma, this saturday I will be celebrating my and the other students accomplishments. We did it baby!


I am so proud of all us who pulled together and worked as a close knit team. We were able to work flawlessly without much conversation, moving smoothly throughout the kitchen and trusting the others judgments and movements. However, gossiping at the sink while doing dishes, trips to Starbucks on a 12 minute lunch break, locker room chaos and an underlying feeling of camaraderie is what made the past 8 months tolerable, dare i say, a hell of a lot of fun.


Although I am very excited for a brief break from an unending 9-5 schedule (the internship will have me back on my feet at all hours of the night) I will miss school very much. Hungover mornings, dirty jackets, even dirtier dishes and disasters (how the hell did green spots end up in the cheesecake?!) aside, I truly made like-minded and generous friends. Friends who understand the pressure of changing careers, changing a life one has built. Friends who understand the true appeal of dive bars: we all have those pesky student loans. Friends who blankly stare at you while you are repeatedly dipping your sleeve in a bowl of melted chocolate, in awe at the mere sight of such a mess. I wish the absolute best of luck to them all, and I hope we can reunite in a year, in the same old bars, but telling new stories. Because we are constantly learning, constantly getting better at what we love to do. From that first day in January, to now, to our internships, to our new workplaces, we will always be improving. And then someday we will be old and gray, our knees will have buckled under the pressure of a lifetime in a kitchen, and I'll get a random email asking "hey remember when we used the bread hooks to pretend we had hooks for hands? Like Buster from Arrested Development!? you think chef ever saw that?" And I will respond, "yes, yes i do remember. and yes, they definitely saw that".

Dark Chocolate, Gotham City

I am swiftly approaching the end of my time in culinary school, and as the classes wind down we are taking on some very exciting projects. Dedicated to chocolates and cake decorating, mod 4 is all about you, dear student. Gone are the days of being terrified which partner you will be paired with, as this decision set the tone for the whole day. now we are working on individual projects, letting the creative juices flow, relying only on oneself to git 'er done. The first major project of mod 4 was a chocolate sculpture. Our class decided on the theme "cities" broad enough so that if someone really wanted to do a pirate theme, it could be arranged. and it was!
This little robot chose the most bad ass city of them all....GOTHAM.
The first step was to make a sketch, to show the chef you had a vague idea, and for him to be able to scale the ambition down a notch or two. ("the Batmobile might be a bit trickier than you think, Michelle") Once we got a practical sketch drawn, we had to make stencils for the buildings. The idea being, after you have tempered your chocolate, pour the chocolate onto an acetate covered surface, let it set, lay the stencils on the chocolate, and cut around.
I will now take you on a step by step journey, through time & space, chocolate stains, and a lot of fun:
my work station. ANTM and a glass of wine provided true inspiration.

laying down the tempered chocolate:

the buildings: Wayne Tower, the clocktower, and Arkham Asylum

the makeshift sugar mold for the Batman sign:

all the little details (thanks Nissa for help with the bat!)

it stands! everything you see here is held together by chocolate. an amazing thing. this stood 25" tall. It was the second tallest sculpture, because of course Sam had to one up me. (I'll get you, girl)

proud mama,


xo-TSR

it's been over a month since my last post. rats! i thought I had reached a solid writing/updating schedule, but apparently i was wrong. it's not for a lack of events, i went to Nathan's hot dog eating contest, Phoenix, made a chocolate sculpture of Gotham city, and sealed the deal on my internship. one of the most glaring reasons is that (shocker shocker) my computer is not working; but that is only a temporary(fingers crossed!) delay. I have not been doing much baking in my apartment, due to the fact that the lord god remembered what month it is and turned up the temperatures. which is great! but only makes me want to sit in my underwear and eat cereal, not bake a blueberry pie. you know how these things work. there's never enough hours in the day,you tell yourself, but what it really comes down to is not having anything worthwhile to say. what could i possibly say about baking/eating cupcakes that you don't already know? I guess what i am saying is, I am feeling a bit intimidated by all the interwebs, and all the information they have to offer. i feel the only way to write an original piece is by making it fictional; less observation, more making shit up. but I'm not very strong in that department, either. Tonight I am taking a food writing class and hopefully that will spark my imagination and reaffirm my interest in writing and baking and everything that comes with it. However, it might not. I might take endless notes and leave with such excitement, but by the time i get home i will only be able to think about sleeping, or eating cereal in my underwear....it seems so fleeting, these moments of creativity and thought.
well, this is my sorry excuse for an apology, much like this one. i really want to keep doing this! i just need a kick in the pants, or money to buy ingredients, or a day off. who knows!
Love you all, and i swear next time i update it will be about food! no more of this sorry my self shit.
xoxo-TSR

So you don't have to: Burger King Bonanza

Stuffin my face.

It's the moment you've all been waiting for. Have those Burger King chips been sitting in your pantry, as you've been (im)patiently waiting for me to give you the go ahead? Well wait no more, I can safely tell you.....stay away. stay far, far away. Let's dive in!
The first time I encountered the chips, whose flavor was simply "Flame Broiled" was at a Blockbuster in March. Immediately intrigued, I purchased the chips, along with whichever LOST disc I was up to at the time. I bought them for sake of writing, for my loyal readers. I was going to review the chips and impart my criticism to the masses. Then I chickened out. They stayed in my pantry until they expired. and considering how many preservatives are in these, they must have lived at Blockbuster, with no one to claim them, for a very long time.
But I was determined,so I bought some more, and was gifted a bag of the Burger King Onion Ring chips, for my birthday.Oh, it was on.
LET THE GREAT EXPERIMENT BEGIN!
Have it your way.

There's no good way to have these.

Not dead yet!

Sunny Robot Approved!

Now, for part 2, the "onion rings"

Nuff said.
My analysis is this: The flame broiled chips were tolerable because, well most importantly, I have really low standards for junk food. I'll eat allllmost anything. It had the texture of of a Frito, and tasted lightly of BBQ sauce and a splash of pepper, so i could have easily eaten more, if not all. But i would have felt terrible about it. Perhaps it's the Monosodium Glutamate talking. (MSG!)
The onion rings on the other hand, I couldn't even deal with. Let me just get this off my chest....I don't like Funyons!! Phew, that feels good.Anyway, these tasted like funyons that had been heavily garlic-ed. So.....gross.

To help you understand how much i like junk food, and how bad these onion rings were, when I asked Jamie if he would like some, he answered promptly: "If you can't eat them, nobody should."

Boo Math.

"You take the good, you take the bad,
you take them both and there you have
The Facts of Life, the Facts of Life."
I've never seen the Facts of life. I was more of a Mary Tyler Moore kinda gal. however, this song plays loudly in my head when i think about what happened to my cupcakes last night.
Some background: Brother bear, Sister Bear and baby Bear or coming over for dinner tonight. As the sole resident of my apartment, I don't cook often, and almost never for others. So i was excited to plan a menu. Also, as a pastry student, I don't "cook" in general, so i wasn't looking for anything ambitious for dinner. For dessert on the other hand, well, you know me. I had found this wonderful recipe for Chocolate Graham Cracker cupcakes with Marshmallow frosting. perfect!
i got home and took inventory for a shopping list. didn't need bittersweet chocolate, I had unsweetened! (yes. i didn't notice that minor detail til the bitter end. bah dum chiiing!) the main problem was this recipe was for 24 cupcakes, which is just absurd. I am in no position to eat leftover cupcakes, but i'll be damned if i let them go to waste! So i cut the recipe in half. which would have been easy as pie if the measurements were weighed, but they weren't. So 1 3/4 cup becomes .875 a cup, and COME ON what does that mean?!
So I gambled and guessed and closed my eyes and figured it couldn't come out too bad right? baking is a science, my friends. no dashes, pinches, handfuls. Now I know first hand.
The batter was VERY soupy, there was clearly a lack of starches to hold the thing together. if you can put cupcake batter in the tins with a ladel, you're doing it wrong. but i thought, maaaaaybe it will all come together at the end.

It looked alright going in, there was a glimmer of hope. I placed them very carefully in the oven, careful not to spill any over the sides (!). After 10 minutes I was supposed to turn them, and in this time I was getting ready the Marshmallow frosting, assuming nothing could be bad enough frosting couldn't cover it. When I opened the oven to turn them I saw this:


And i promptly threw out the marshmallow frosting. I know! I should have saved something from this ordeal, but I was defeated. Crushed. Kinda laughing....
I'm sure there's a moral to this story, and i think you already know what it is.
Open your eyes when you're baking! Read the damn recipe! Get the right chocolate! it all matters, believe you me.

can't stop thinking about cupcakes of course!

ah, i'm such a walking cliche. I love cupcakes. join the club!
By now we have all seen the obligatory picture of me eating a cupcake....eating cupcakes at work! on a train! in a cave! under the table! oh, you haven't seen all of those? some things are best kept private, eh?
so, I can honestly say I have had close to the perfect cupcake. the holy grail of cupcakes, something dreamed about by the cupcake fanatic. where did i find this godly cupcake? Billy Bakery!
Last week Shmoops came to the big bad city to celebrate my 24th (!) birthday. Dinner, drinks, dessert, and LOST. it's all a sunny robot ever wanted. We ate dinner at an unremarkable restaurant, but I knew that i was saving myself for dessert anyway (as always). I had seen this place on a Mod 1 bakery tour, but did not sample any of their treats, I just gawked outside the window like a slobbering fool. (who am I kidding, I am a slobbering fool). Shmoops and I both got a slice of cake, and a cupcake to enjoy at work on my actual birthday. I got the Chocolate cake with vanilla buttercream frosting, she got a coconut cake with fluffy white icing. Because it was late in the evening, mom ended getting the rest of the cake, the end of the night special. I picked up the chocolate cupcake with pink frosting to enjoy the next day and we went home to find out what the hell was in that hatch.
I opened presents and we munched on cake, very very sweet frosting, excellent cake. Considering the time of day, and assuming the cake had been out all day, it hadn't dried out a bit. we fell asleep after a brief sugar high...
The next day:
My birthday! but that was besides the point, the cupcake was the true star that day.
I ate it around 230, when my eyelids get heavy and i would eat my pencil to keep me busy. There is no way my description will ever do this cake justice. The combination of cake and frosting was perfect , the buttercream was sweet but it's supposed to be, and they got it just right.

The cake tasted like rich chocolate; unlike so many chocolate cakes that could pass for vanilla with brown food coloring.I almost cried. Granted, I cry alot, but this was heavenly. Angels, Zac Efron, whatever god you pray to, he lives at Billy's Bakery.

Simulation Sunday

This past Sunday was cookie day at school. Sounds harmless enough, right?
WRONG.
**********
Class met promptly at 9am. I was a bit late, due to "slow trains" (read: not waking up). I am cranky because our classroom is the only classroom in the WORLD that doesn't have a coffee machine....I also tend to exaggerate a situation when i'm cranky. Chef comes in and we quickly start the day; a rough outline is finish the cake from Saturday, meet with your team, and start making cookies like you've never made cookies before. we had to be ready by 3; time to clean up and be ready for our presentation and guests at 4. annnnnd GO!
I had the infinite pleasure of working with Sam, often featured in this blog when i talk about drinking with school buddies. Somehow, although I consider her the one I am closest to in class, we have never worked together. Friday night at Blue and Gold we planned to work together, mischievous grins and clanking of beer cans solidified the decision. We met up, and although I had the role of Sous Chef (due to losing a cut throat round of Rock,Paper, Scissors) we worked together from the start. The first, and perhaps most difficult task was to organize the recipes in a way that prep time and oven time was most sufficent. For example, the vanilla sablee dough for the Checkerboard cookies needed to be chilled so should be made first; the date filling for the Mamoul's (a rosewater cookies with date filling, yum!) needed to be made and cooled before it could be assembled. So we mapped out our morning and afternoon, thinking to ourselves, "damn we could catch a long lunch and large pint before 3!" Ah, so naive we once were...
The first mistake was made when I, the sous chef (a title that was promptly revoked) began preparing the Mamoul dough, damn near convinced it was the vanilla sablee. OOPS! Sam sweetly, knowing saw the mistake before I, and says "whatcha making there?" I begin to answer, pointing to the wrong recipe "this right.....RATS!"
or some expletive. let's say it was RATS though.
After that snafu, things went rather smoothly, adhering to the practice of getting one big mistake out of the way, as to have a smooth sail for the rest of the day. (that's what you tell yourself when you mess up at 10:30am). So! with the Mamoul dough ready, and setting aside til we actually needed it, we were on our way.
We quickly realized the difficulty of the task at hand, 6 batches of cookies in 4 hours. Unknown to us, ours is the first class that has ever attempted to cram all the cookies in one day with a presentation open to guests at the end. Had we known this, our feelings of inadequacy and incompetence might have been reduced, but no one wants that. Scrambling ensued, lunch was never consumed, ovens/racks/table/sinks were packed to the brim. One of the tricks to baking cookies is to wait until all the racks are ready to go in, so your baking times are easier to keep track of. Up until about 2:15 did this method work, then it was every cookie for himself.
Once the recipe pages settled quietly to the ground and the mixers, one by one, were put under the table; underneath all the chaos, was a glimpse into the lives we were all heading to. Cookie day was the day that most resembled a working kitchen, with high product turnouts and 10 things going on at once. A normal day at school is recipe, production, decorating, pack. (Repeat times 6 months) But this large operation and limited space was a true testament to the industry. And it was incredible. getting shit done, working together (thank god for sam!), being organized, tidy and efficient, all these lessons we have learned since January came into play and it was a clear view of how people worked together, or didn't work together.

At the end of the day we had a beautiful presentation. Biscotti, brownies, lemon bars, Mamouls, Jaques Torres chocolate chip cookies, Rugelach, macarons....and on and on into the horizon. our guests came, and we showed off our labor of love. tired and hungry we dove into the cookies, which gave us a giddy sugar high;and on the subway ride home, i experienced the inevitable sugar crash. But it was a good feeling, feeling accomplished, full and sleepy. A feeling I expect to experience very often in the future.

Rabble

Feeling very scattered this Wednesday afternoon, and people always like to read in cohesive and fractured sentences right? RIGHT?! A few things:
I tried to make clotted cream last night. It took about 3 hours, and I had to get up at 1:50am to tend to it. It had to be refrigerated at a certain time and the process took much longer than I had imagined, so I set my alarm....
Since it's my birthday week I have thrown caution (read: my diet) to the wind and have not held back. Chocolates, bagels, Chinese food. I made 2 batches of chocolate chip cookies last night to "organize the pantry" by using up alll the ingredients i had. Scones, the aforementioned clotted cream, chips, more cookies, chips and beer, ah the list goes on, but it's only going to grow as my actual birthday approaches, aha.
I fell asleep on my lunch break today. There I was sitting in the public atrium across from my office, sipping on a diet coke and reading Dune.......
-15 MINUTES PASS-
I am startled awake my that awful feeling of falling asleep somewhere you shouldn't have. I frantically check the time, see that I am still on break, and then rummage though my bag, checking for my wallet, phone, ipod, my beloved hair brush, etc.
The dishwasher at work has broken. I am pretty sure I should do something about it, but I have no idea where to start.
Ugh. people are so snobby when talking about food. Like last night when i was trying to explain to Jamie what exactly was a double boiler....man was I being a bitch. Sorry dude. and, p.s. you were right....

Friday Link

On a busy Friday at work, a co-worker (named Michelle, so yes she is cool as hell) directed me to a link. My fascination and dedication to baking is common knowledge here, as it is most places. I clicked the link and was directed to an event planner's website.
I fell in love. It is beautifully crafted, put together, and thought out. Perhaps after years in a kitchen,(if I survive) I can retire to doing this.

The last day I made pancakes....EVER.

After a lovely Memorial Day weekend, filed with cupcakes, black bean burgers,blueberry shortcakes with Lemon and Thyme Biscuits, corn on the cob and anything else me and shmoops' mind could imagine, I decided to make pancakes for the family brunch. Before we all headed back to work and school and the "real" world.
one of the first cooking endeavors I ever embarked on was making pancakes. One Easter back on Ardsley street, when i was a wee sunny robot, I wanted to make chocolate chip pancakes for breakfast. Blissfully unaware I put the entire bag of chocolate chips in the batter. I love chocolate as much, if not more as the next guy, but it was basically fried chocolate with speckles of pancake batter. awesome.
I then got into my head that i was very good at making pancakes, and would invite Brandon over for Pink Pancakes with Whipped Cream instead of syrup. Ah, to be young and foolish.
In the years that followed, no one ever told me my pancakes were rubbish, and I even volunteered to feed the entire camp at Billstock(a tradition my father and his childhood friends will never ever break)
So, for some reason I thought pancakes were a staple of my culinary past, present and future. However, after last Monday, I will never make pancakes again. And this is how it went down.
First of all, a telltale sign that I am not pleased is this face:

And this is before it even got underway! Grumpy, sweaty, hungry, expletives racing out of my mouth faster than the horses in the Kentucky Derby.
I made the pancakes from a pre-made batter and buttermilk, not exactly a difficult process.

At first i made the batter too thick, the pancakes were consistently coming out burned on the outside and VERY uncooked in the middle. Out they went! Not even Molly wouldn't eat them, and she eats almost anything. (except for dog food)
So then I thinned out the batter, and it started going much smoother. Except for the fact that they took


for.




ever.

It was insane. my family was starving, I had plowed through about 7 cups of coffee; I honestly have no idea why they took so long, I blame most of it on my profound impatience. I covered them and they cooked much more evenly and swiftly, so that was nice.

But after 45 minutes(!!!)I only got about 15 "good" ones. And I didn't eat a single one...out of spite.
I don't know why this pissed me off so much, but I remember exclaiming, and meaning "I AM NEVER MAKING PANCAKES AGAIN!"

so there.

Metric loves LOST or: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Song

When I was a child, like all children I wanted to be a million different things when I grew up. I wanted desperately to be an actress, to be Harriet the Spy, a singer, a garbage truck driver, a seal, a philosopher, a wall painter, a music video director, a dog walker...you get the point. (oddly enough, pastry chef, the one thing i am actually pursuing came later in life) Some of those carried over into my later years; I am a terrific eavesdropper (harriet), i majored in acting for exactly one semester, I did paint my walls once, and I interviewed to be a dog walker. others, such as the seal, garbage truck driver, well those never quite materialized. But today, I got to live out a favorite of mine. A music video director. because, you see, today is the today i completely understood a song, what the singer was talking about word for word, and I had the images to correspond with them. Today is the day I learned that one my favorite bands, Metric, loves my FAVORITE show, Lost.
I first heard this song last week, on my trip home from Boston. it was raining very hard and the Chinatown bus was going very fast. at first i just heard the melody, and i liked it....alot. so i played it again, and the second line "Tell the survivors help is on the way" immediately made me think of my favorite survivors from Flight 815. so i listened closely and realized, that every word had some semblance of being stranded on that island. If you click the picture above, (which I strongly recommend you do. if nothing, it will illustrate to you my urgency -in the scribbled handwriting- to make each connection.)
So, this morning i was on the subway and the song came on again. This time i could not let it go! Now, as a watchable music video, I have directed not. but I have picked some of my favorite images from Lost and lined them up with the lyrics I am almost certain Metric made for them. So, here are a few:
"Tell the survivors help is on the way"
-While on the Others compound, they see Flight 815 break into 2. This is intended to be quite ironic, since (spoiler alert!) the Others have no intention of actually helping the survivors...
"Got us a battle, leave it up to me"
-Ugh, this one kills me. all I can think of is Charlie in the looking glass, holding up his hand...water filling up...i don't remember much of that scene because I was too busy weeping uncontrollably.
"Find us a trap door, find us a plane
Tell the survivors help is on the way"
This one is the kicker. Before this lyric, it could have all been coincidence, but COME ON! Trap door= hatch door. Plane= Mr. Echo's drug plane. OBVI.
but for this part i would like to imagine that breathtaking image of Locke pounding on the hatch door, and then....like from Heaven underground, a light shines on him...and everyone on the island and in the audience feels hope. (or dread.)
"I was the one with the world at my feet
Got us a battle, leave it up to me"
For this part, all I can think of is Jack pre-Island. His crumbling marriage, his developing alcoholism, his forgetfulness to shave...
the battle he needs to fight is apparent, and he refuses help from anyone else to take the burden of the island off his shoulders. I have a hard time feeling sympathy though, cause he's such a goddamn baby.
the Chorus goes "What it is and where it stops nobody knows
You gave me a life I never chose
I wanna leave but the world won't let me go"
and it all comes together. what is the island? (miracles, monsters, polar bears?!) when is the island (time travel?), where the hell is the island? "Nobody Knows". Although science is choice and logic, destiny forgoes both of those, and that is what has been forced upon the survivors. and they can't get off!! THE ISLAND!! it keeps bringing them back even when they have finally reached home. The numbers are everywhere, following poor huge Hurley wherever he goes. everything seems to be connected to the island, it all comes back.
So, I know, it's not really a music video, but I'm not a music video director now am I? No, I'm not. I'm just a hopeless little baker who can't stop think about Lost. But I'm glad I'm not the only one...I'm on to you, Metric.

How to be a happy and healthy (aspiring) baker

oh how easy it is to have the "ho-hums". I'll never be successful, i'll never keep all my fingers, i'll never sleep again/have money to do anything/be skinny/see the Eifel tower/marry James Franco. See?! this is how these things spin out of control! So today, I was stewing in my worries and oh bothers, when i realized this was not going to get me anywhere. it's not gonna get me to the laundromat tonight, or to bed early, or to school, or into my whites. What i needed was a good kick in the ass, some perspective. I needed to do something i was really good at and that (for some reason unbeknown to be)makes me quite happy. I made a list!
How to be a happy and healthy (aspiring) baker:
1. Take you iron pills. basically, take care of yourself. if you know you need 8 hours of sleep to function, make sure your schedule is conducive to doing so. Take vitamins, drink tea instead of coffee for 2 days (it can be done!) drink water constantly and try to eat some fruit and veggies. Pizza with spinach works! it's not sausage! there are green things on top of my cheese and bread! Clearly, I don't have this whole "healthy lifestyle" down yet, but baby steps, my dears.
2.Sharpen your knives. you're less likely to lose a finger if your knives are sharp. do you need any more motivation than that?
3.Grab a beer after class/work and talk shop. it's important to vent. it's important to surround yourself with people who have similar interest and encourage you. It's important to buy your classmates drinks....they will remember it in the kitchen.
4. Don't talk shop all the time. it's also very important to clear your head. Shop can be talked about for hours, but it gets old. and your friends get sick of hearing about it. and yes, your co-workers and fellow kitchen mice are what gets you by on a working basis, but outside relationships are just as important. don't lose sight of the goal, but don't lose sight of your friends and those that have helped you get this far.
5. Read. Read. Read. this one time, i was sick, and i went home upstate so my mom could make me soup and i could be coddled. both very necessary. anyway, on the way home we stopped at the library, and here i picked up Jamie Oliver's "Jamie's Kitchen". I went home and ate the whole thing up (bah dum chiing). i was enthralled in the book, the stories each dish were telling, his passion for good food, the pictures. Just reading a cookbook, an article, a biography of a chef, helps immensely in the knowledge of food and preparation. and knowledge is power, kids.
6. Bake at home. the fact is, if you love something, you're going to want to do it all the time, so of course you'll be baking at home! I know, I know, new york kitchens are sad little things with weepy walls and bugs. this is true. but be creative! store cookie sheets under the bed, place cooling racks on the TV. you'll figure it out. but bake everywhere.
7. Count to 10 and keep working. this is what this little robot has to work on the most. i get so caught up on criticisms, or bumps in the road....i completely freeze. i can't think straight. and i normally end up crying. so! count to 10, take deep breaths, and i swear to god it works. Perspective comes creeping in, suddenly you understand how to handle the situation, or that the criticism is just going to make you stronger and wiser. Just chill out, little guy....
8.Taste what you make. "oh but i don't want to get fat! my drinking pants have become my everyday pants!" oh i know these cries all to well. there's quite a simple solution in fact. DON'T EAT THE WHOLE DAMN CAKE. ahem. sorry. taste what you make, chew slowly, think of improvements that can be made. then, if you're still hungry, have some more! go ahead! but if you keep eating because you think "well what if i never have another chocolate souffle in front of me again?" you're wrong. you will. and it will taste waaay better if you aren't wearing your drinking pants.
9. Find Inspiration. In everything. in what Paula Dean makes, at Buttercup Bakery, what your mom makes when you ask for you favorite food. In music, in movies. I find it everywhere; not necessarily "oh this song inspires me to bake x and perhaps drizzle it with y." But i do get inspired to just keep going. to learn as much as possible, and to have fun with it. because if you're not doing it because you love it, then why the hell are you here?
10.Just try really, really really, hard. cause that's all you can do. if you try your damndest and it doesn't work out....well then, you didn't try your damndest.

And with that I bid you good evening! Many apologies for the lack of updates, my computer will be fixed by..(hopefully sooner that this)..memorial day weekend!

the end of an era

Saturday morning my stomach was in knots. i drank 2 sips of coffee before i realized i wouldn't even be able to handle that. i had ironed my uniform the night before, so i looked at my flashcards one last time, kissed my fish goodbye and headed for the train. I was about to take my Mod 2 final exam! ack!
This exam consisted of a written test and 2 practicals. Both went swimmingly. well, i was sweating profusely and had a permanent stomach cramp from all the nerves,but that's pretty standard for a stressful day in the kitchen. the exam was winding down, i had performed the Detrempe, Beurrage, and Paton for my puff pastry, and i was cleaning up my station (or as i lovingly refer to it as "microwave corner") Chef Sim was making the rounds, poking the dough, scribbling notes, losing his tea, and the inevitable truth was upon us. We are halfway through school, and Chef Sim, our instructor for 4 months, was no longer going to be with us. rats!
Chef Sim, with a perpetual hangover and long hair had taught us such phrases as "it's your world", "bob's your uncle", and my personal favorite "bibbly bobbly". (don't worry, it's not an inside joke, no one ever knew what he was talking about.) he was patient and helpful, a bread savant, a hippe, a sailor, and one hell of an instructor. We spent every weekend, for 4 months, with chef sim. we could read his moods, understand his slang, and knew what he was referring to when he pointed at something and said "Jim-Jam". (basically it meant, get him whatever he was pointing to)
and so, as we enter Module 3 with a new instructor, mostly unaware of what to expect, I say farewell chef sim. thanks for teaching us how to make donuts, how to make a cornet, and what days not to come to class hungover. (strudel day comes to mind) Thanks for encouraging us to be individuals and bake as we see fit (just don't ever use bright blue food coloring...so tacky) Thanks for telling us endless stories about your life and the adventure you have been on, and sweetly listening to our young adventures. i truly enjoyed seeing you before class, sitting on the stoop at Home Depot, rolling cigarettes and recapping the night before. i'll always remember your advice to have light hands, thick skin and late nights.
I'll be seeing you round school, dude, and most certainly at the pub.

the thrifty robot

**disclaimer-my computer is on the fritz so i apologize for the lack of pictures, but i figure by now you have all seen my eating a cupcake...which is the only picture i took for this post anyway....**

I live in the most exciting and expensive city in the world. the former is why i stay, the latter is an unfortunate repercussion. this often means, cheap wine, cheap clothes, peanut butter and jelly for days on end. but i don't complain (often); it's rather exciting, and lord knows i am not the only one struggling to "make it". considering the career i am trying so hard to obtain, things won't get any easier...but they will certainly have to get more creative.
Yesterday i took a computer class in a different neighborhood than i am usually stationed. on my lunch break, although the weather was less than forgiving, i took a stroll, to see things i don't always see. I passed by the lovely and tremendous New York Public Library, the Jack's 99 cent store, and countless tourists. i stumbled upon a landmark i have only read about, something i seek out with every lunch time stroll i take in the stuffy Mid-Town district. The Treats Truck!
a beloved addition to New York's packed streets, the treats truck comes strolling down in a silver box truck, packed with cookies, brownies,and cupcakes. I asked if she makes the treats in the truck, and she said no, she makes them at their headquarters in Red Hook (bklyn). Although i wanted the cupcake with the pink frosting (because i am nothing if not predictable) it only came under vanilla cake, and I needed some chocolate. So i got the Chocolate cake with Vanilla Frosting and sprinkles. It was 2 bucks.
Then i grabbed a large coffee at a no-name deli for 1.55.
Then i headed over to bryant park, where the air was still foggy, but warm enough to eat al fresco. I passed that 'Witch craft place, and noticed something that really tied my whole snack together. They had a peanut butter and jelly sandwich.....FOR 5 DOLLARS! i was floored; i actually yelled something i shall not repeat. needless to say i was shocked and appalled. it got me thinking about how much i had saved by going to the little guys.

Crumbs cupcake: 3.75
Large Starbucks coffee:4 bucks
SANDWICH I CAN'T EVEN DEAL WITH: 4.99
This is mostly me bragging about how stingy i am, but you've got to be wise to make it in a city where a PBR is 5 bucks ( i don't even want to talk about that incident) and a PB&J is is the same.
So, here's a list of the sunny robots favorite cheap spots!
Blue and Gold - bartender isn't the greatest, but the juke box is awesome and the beers are cheap. very private atmosphere with a pool table, if you're into that sort of thing.
Mamouns Falafel - best falafel i have EVER had. hot sauce makes you weep, and the whole thing is 2.50.
Mister Softee - that is all.
Nancy Whiskey Pub - probably the best place, ever. they have pitchers, they do buy backs, the juke box is the best i've come across, the waitresses remember you. and they're food is fresh and perfectly greasy bar food.
and last, but never....ever....EVER least:
Big Enchilada- I don't crave anything like I crave enchiladas, and these are some of the best i have ever had. tucked behind union square, it's cozy and authentic atmosphere is memorable, but not as memorable as their trademark dish, yes, you guessed it, The Big Enchilada. get the green sauce, sit back, and watch some soccer.
man i want an enchilada right now.

So, go forth and prosper in big bad NYC! don't spend all your money on a martini, put your make up on in Sephora without ever buying anything, and enjoy the ride.

The Cake Parade : part two

Yo whatUP?!!
feeling a bit rowdy this happy hour. Just received my LOST pint glasses, each with a different dharma logo on them...perhaps i shall drink a different beverage in each, to break them in. let's see - wine, milk, seltzer, bloody mary mix, salad dressing....
I best wait for the proper occasion.
moving on! Hung up a painting of migrating birds on my bare wall, this too makes me smile. planning trips to visit friends and see shows, weekend anticipation, and pleasant weather. all make a sunny robot a bit sunnier.
and so we find ourselves, onto part two of the great cake parade. we last left off consuming a light Zac Efron coconut cake. (i'll stop soon, i swear) today, we delve deeper into easter,with all things rabbit....Carrot Cake!
The plan had been Red Velvet, but isn't that always the plan. and plans are boring, and comfy...shmoops said to think outside the box. i panicked. we decided on carrot cake when we were in the frozen food section picking out dessert. (it was our night off! back off! we got turnovers, can you think of a better idea?) we happened upon a box of Sarah Lee(maybe?) carrot cake, when shmoops told me how much dan enjoys a good carrot cake. or a bad carrot cake, either way.
i don't have a recipe for carrot cake! panic! drama! this is where my odd inability to think "outside the box" comes into play...shmoops, always the cool calm and collected when i am not (and vice versa) suggests we look on the back of the sarah lee(?) box. the back read as such "sugar, sugar, sugar gum, corn syrup...chemicals, etc etc.**" but! if you squint real hard you can see the following, in some form: carrots, basic things every cake requires, pineapple, you have this all in your pantry.
so! we picked up some pineapple, we already had 50 lbs of carrots, and made our merry way home.
I quickly found this recipe, and it was a go. Upon reading the comments and review section of the recipe (a feature i strongly suggest taking advantage of) i saw that most comments mentioned that a) this recipe was fabulous, and b)it made a very small cake.
So i doubled the recipe, another thing i find highly stressful, but this worked perfectly, with no conversions necessary. a straightforward doubling of all ingredients.
This is what my Easter morning looked like: grating carrots, listening to my favorite baking album (Metric, Live It Out) and snacking on goodies the bunny left me.

Me still not believing carrot cake has pineapple in it...who knew?

getting ready to go in:

mmmm,the frosting. what's better than carrot cake? the cream cheese frosting that goes on a carrot cake...

chillin in the microwave til the time is right...

up close and personal:

I thought it was a success and i hope everyone who consumed it can agree.
it's been a pleasure, and now i bid you, adieu.



** i really really love entenmanns, lays potato chips, and all things processed so i'm not gonna knock chemicals...just trying to make a point.

The Cake Parade : part one

Good evening and welcome to the sunny robot happy hour! Pour yourself a glass of milk, or miller lite, or mint tea and snuggle on the couch next to loved ones. tell them a tale, a tale of knights and princes, damsels and white horses. or, tell them something they will actually enjoy; something they can believe in. tell them a story of cake.
Last weekend was Easter weekend. spent with friends and family and food and pastels. as any of my avid readers can tell you, my mom and i take menus quite seriously. i am generally in charge of desserts, a position i do not take lightly. you see, it's just me in this little apartment, which i do love, but sometimes i find it hard to justify making a 3 layer cake, or cupcakes shaped like mice or, well food beyond soup and grilled cheese. you know how it is, work all day, come home, do the hula, eat, watch some LOST. don't lie...i know i am not the only one out there....
anyway!
after much deliberation and about 20 emails back and forth we decided on a menu to please (hopefully) everyone. I made a Coconut Layer Cake. my dream cake....flawlessly white, moist, light, airy...clouds and heaven and angels singing and Zac Efron and all that good stuff.
This one turned out much better than my last attempt. the recipe can be found here. I made a change with the frosting, because it didn't fit my image of the Zac Efron style perfect light frosting i wanted. (did that just become a description?! i guess so....you know what i mean, ladies)
instead i made a simple whipped frosting, following a recipe from the classic and always inspiring Joy of Baking. I couldn't find the Cream of coconut needed for the cake at the snobbish whole foods (sorry John, Jena and Jen, i really love it!), but it was found at the neighborhood grocery store in Michellebletown, Emmanuels Marketplace.

this is the kitchen i got to use!! Rapture! Jeremy and Missy's kitchen in New Jersey. oh god....they have a standing mixer and really good knives and everything a hopeless little baker could ask for!

The Mysterious Cream of Coconut......

getting ready for assembly!

complete and ready to eat :)

Dig in!


The general consensus was good! it was nice and moist, i believe due to the buttermilk in the batter, and the frosting was simple yes, but classically yummy.A delightful contribution to the menu Shmoops so perfectly crafted; sans the ham, she had nothing to do with that. and really neither did I, or rather i didn't want anything to do with it:

that's all for now my pets....
now, finish up your drink, kiss your loved one goodnight, and promise them tales for another night.
xo-TSR