spring, Nothing new.

today is the first day of spring. i celebrated with a smoothie. now i feel disgusting and i cannot keep my eyes open. but that is nothing new.

tomorrow is my last day at work. which essentially means my last day on long island. i'm sure i will cry like a bitch, but that is nothing new, either. i sure as hell will not miss long island, but rather the conditions with which i am leaving. But of Course.

i will always want to sleep forever, and i had to hit the snooze button today because I wanted to see you for 2 more minutes.
you will never know that.

and i probably always will.

Hopefully I will meet many lovely people at animal shelters and cooking classes. However, if not, I am used to being alone, and truth be told, i generally do not like people anyway. I am becoming a recluse. i suppose as of 2005. Nothing new. That was the year i felt so disgusted with myself i hid in a small room, lied to everyone, and smelled like smoke even in the shower. I must have lost that year, and everyone i met after had the burden of trying to reinvent me, regain a lost year and make me better. I never got better. what happppppenend?!

i am frustrated and very very sad and seeing red and talking to sidewalks.

(nothing new)

here is a happy spring to all of you: