So You Don't Have To : Butterfinger Buzz

Welcome to the second installment of So You Don't Have to, in which i take a hit for the team so you don't have to eat such things as the waffle sandwich from dunkin donuts, or in this case Butterfinger Buzz. Let me explain how i happened to stumble upon such an......i'll say it....abomination. I got a Blockbuster membership to feed my dangerous LOST addiction. it's been going swimingly, the people are pleasant, i return my movies on time,a very healthy relationship. what's not so healthy are the racks of snacks displayed where the line forms. filled with those paintbrush lollipop things, burger king flavored chips (not a specific flavor, just Burger King) 10 pound bags of sour patch kids(ok, that one is pretty damn awesome.) so as i'm waiting, in the corner of my eye a BRIGHT orange box catches my eye. i am their target audience. distracted easily, childlike taste buds. it called i answered, that's about all it took.
So i ate it at work today. when do you need an energy boost more than 3:42 pm on a Monday? I got the King size (obbbviously). I could only eat half! For those that know me, you know that is rather unheard of.
It was butterfnger on crack. i mean, that's not an astute observation by any means, but it was just MORE sugar, i think. the sugar was crystallized like rock candy, and had a very natural burnt orange color. The ingredients did have the word "Caffeine" in them, but, and i may be wrong in this, isn't the ingredient list a bit more specific normally? Like taurine or something? I don't know, and wikipedia confuses me (and with lostpedia so closely related i get easily distracted...told you!)
anyway!so i ate it, slowly, picked out the sugar caked on my teeth, and waited. Waited for that RUSH that made me want to alphabetize everything on my desk and take inventory on everything. didn't happen. I did run into a wall at exactly 4:16, but i don't think that had anything to do with the "energy bar" that boasts "With as much CAFFEINE as the leading energy drink."

It even has a warning not to be consumed by pregnant women, for fear their children will never blink or something. But don't take my word for it! go grab one, before the limited edition Butterfinger Buzz bars sell out!!
which they won't. so don't rush. and as a matter of fact, take my word for it. stick to coffee and chewing on splenda packets.
because the only thing that happened when i ate this was this :

which is business as usual.