not just planes

bahhh.
i've been told to write in the morning when i first wake up. but days when i am not off to work or school, i am generally nursing a hangover, ordering Chinese food and watching re-runs of the office all day. so, this morning I awoke, made a pot of coffee and sat at the dining room table in my home upstate. i am here to sleep, mostly, and to spend some time with molly. we both woke up around 11:45, and we talked about how she likes living here alone in the country, and about how i like living alone in the city. it was a nice gradual wake-up, one i know my body was meant for, as opposed to the bells that echo in my cold apartment, too early everytime.
I've been having bad dreams, planes crashing, girls ducking from unidentified ojects, and unspeakable things i hope i can forget. Perhaps it's all the sugar. anyways!
now i look out the window to a perfectly clear world. a blanket (more like 12 blankets)of snow keeps the earth cold. winter always turns things around. the cat lazily jumps from one couch to the other, thinking the next will be better, and then realizing it's all the same, and it's all ok.
the shower is running, and the heat is softly blowing. the sun shines in and the coffee is strong. always a mini-vacation up here; away from billows of soot and people who talk to noone but themselves. my cell phone rings and i turn to get it. I stop myself...(keep writing, you never do, the day just started everything is new)...and then i start biting my stumpy fingers wondering who has called.
So Sue Me! I picked it up. a friend texts me "Bobby Flay is in the building! Repeat, Bobby Flay is in the building!" (she works at Chelsea Market)
I am glad i picked it up. how quickly i forget the snow, the lazy cat, the soft sounds,the country. Now I am thinking of fast kitchens, school specifically. it's hot and there is a smudge of flour on my cheek. I think of getting back in the kitchen, working fast, listening hard and being brilliant. (the latter the goal of course)
I look back to what I wrote a few moments ago and say "what a change of personality! I muust be crazy!" and then i reassure myself....damn this is strong coffee...the proof is in the deteriorating handwriting)
even the cat has woken up, the little one grabbed at my pen as i was writing furiously.
And once i wake up I start worrying. worrying about my family, my work, my friends, anonymous planes in the sky.
and then i realize why writing first ting in the morning is recommended. by the time your eyes have blinked off the sleep, that first cup of coffee has been gulped down, and the first contact with the outside world is established, your mind is elsewhere. The focus is obscured, and your pen doesn't know what to write about anymore......you can't.....
oh look, something shiny!!