wings.

woke up this morning and wondered how i had gotten to bed. Smiling, i turned over looked at my phone and saw a message from Troy, claiming we had much to look forward to.

this cup of coffee might not do it, but i will be calling for work this morning. with amy winehouse paper mache'd to my brain, i woke up, showered, brushed and laughed all through the morning.
last night brother bear and i went to McCanns for wings and beers. It was a simple mission and we accomplished it with gusto and new friends. We met Matt, who grew up in our home town, went to our high school, and made toasts for beloved town members who died and made it to the pearly gates of heaven. Gates which, in fact, are better than pearl and are edible. He tore them down, licked his chops and I'm sure drank with us last night.
Jeremy and I made up for lost time. I have been living here with him for 2 months. In that 2 months we had never apologized for past regrets, done shots like we could handle them, or slapped each other high five when a sports team that neither of us particularly cared about won. So we fixed that.
Young girl at the bar, protected by her brother cheering for hockey I didn't even know I liked.

I woke up this morning with vague memories of dancing to M.I.A. on the stooop.
I stumbled awake to a 6 pack of Miller Lites neither Jeremy nor I touched, but had the best intentions for.
I fell out of bed onto shoe boxes full of books and eye liner.
I went 14 steps backwards in attempts to pack, by sleeping in fleece pants that had already been stored in boxes.
I rolled over to a message that made me excited for the day.

What a rocky, roll-y, terrible and absofuckinglutely amazing two months.
I thank Missy and Jeremy. Hoss and even the cat sometimes....
Now, with dog cookbooks in hand
I go.

rainy monday

coffee brewing, rain is falling.
I finally managed to get a decent night of sleep last night. Now I am waiting with baited breath to see if I have work today. Would rather night, of course. But oh I have an apartment to furnish and a summer to buy.
this weekend i spent with friends, new friends, and the kitchen. Saturday night I decided to be a shut in. Turning all the lights on, I blasted food network and trudged through my first batch of truffles. Too much orange liqueur, especially for someone who does not drink OR like orange....wink.
Yesterday was breakfast with long lost to work brother bear. I walked over to my new place with rent check in hand. I sat with the girls for a few hours, inspecting my new room, the oven, cupboards and closets. With silly scenarios running through my mind at all times, i chatted with the girls and tried to make them laugh. I would like to feel comfortable somewhere.
They laughed and so did I, and when it did get comfortable, megan and I watched a special on meringues. Just like old times that have not happened yet.

Fell asleep to sirens and foreign tongues. Took his advice on how to sleep happily, and it worked.
Woke up to a hungry cat and still no desire to work, although the pending drops from the sky have little encouragement. If I were Steinbeck I would have gone through many pencils right now.
If I were him I would be drinking a cold breakfast of whiskey and soda; bent down in my work, unable to see my family or friends or problems or sickness around me.
Odd how I wish for a life where I find something so encapsulating that nothing else matters. Isn't a life a waste without distractions and kisses, tumbles and laughing? Friends and babies?

Where am I hiding (read:wishing to hide?) that i cannot find all this?
I wouldn't even be happy in this world. I would get lonely and large. Soggy and hunched.

It's bizarre writing after a hot shower on a cold morning. Waiting for a call. Wrapped in a robe.
Things seem less good. A whole night has passed to change the world. I have a whole day to figure out what changes have been made, and which need to be made.

A thief for words.

" You're either coming or you just left but you're always on the way.
Towards a sunrise or a sunset, a scribble or a sonnet.
They are really just the same."

deeee-f**king-licious

Success with the vodka and tonic!
To celebrate here is a picture of a man icing the world's largest Cinnamon Bun!

vodka tonic?

my camera fell in the water dish. did i really need another reason to hate cats?!
no.

in other news, i made a garlic Sauteed artichoke this evening. it was delicious, crunchy garlic, soft heart.
is that what people say about me?
anyways, i am going to watch top chef soon...my morning are bizarre. I now have an option to go into work, so obviously the immediate thought is....hmmm NO.
i drink my coffee and listen to matt lauer, and he subliminally tells me that when they call with a job assignment, take it. Cause Michelle (says Lauer) you have to get your shit together. You can't even afford wine and don't forget about that standing mixer you have been dreaming about.
Thanks Matt. You look good for 74.

Vodka tonic anyone? I've never had one, but the gin has run out and i like telling myself, It's water that makes you sleepy.

I need to get out of this fucking room. And preferably out of the artist formerly known as Michele as well.

I actually have no idea what is going on today. I woke up at 430. I've been awake since.
For someone who considers sleeping one of her favorite hobbies this is a terrifying turn of events. I wouldn't be too concerned if it came out of nowhere, but sleepless, restless night for a few weeks now.
Gross.
well i think i'm unemployed. question mark? i'm fucked?
who knows.
NOT ME!

what I do know is that I am making lemon garlic salmon over a spinach salad tonight.
And I just shake my head.

Date night with Kristen and Anthony this Thursday. Chicken and Waffles and then Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
HIP!
at least i'm not LIVING like i'm unemployed...which isn't a good thing at all.
but my give a shit left quite some time ago.

at least i'm healthy hahahahahah.

get it together

Oof. what a weekend.
Red Headed Sluts, sliced duck, crunchy bread and Extra Virgin Olive Oil.
Omelettes, Miller Lite and many cupcakes.

jeremy and kristen's birthday parties and blissss!

yesterday was rough, I listened to too much Bright Eyes. And watched Once with jeremy. Tears make the hangover much worse.

I tried to cram a lot of baking into Friday evening, after work, before dinner/party. it did NOT work out. ha. at all. I didn't bring the drunkcakes at all, I've been nibbling on them and giving them away instead. and the beer cake...well....

so oooooopsy poopsy. Don't tell the FCI.
i have a tour tomorrowwwww!! Hooray!

alright, must try this sleep thing, another week. another job. one foot one foot one foot....

I AM I AM I AM

going to culinary school.

Cupcake Cafe

Jeremy and Missy went to a place called Cupcake Cafe. They brought me home a business card so I can inquire some work, and also a vanilla cupcake with chocolate frosting and an adorably frosted flower!
hiphip.

" If you gotta grow up sometime
You've to do it on your own
I don't think I could stand to be stuck
That's the way that things were going"
-Belle and Sebastian

the perfect white dress

yesterday i met with the lovely Jenna B. Damien made the trek from Long Island bless his soul. When I woke up I immediately decided i was going to spend the day under the covers, with the mantra "i'm no good" floating through my head. Then Jenna calls and asks me if I had looked outside yet. No, by 1pm when i finally woke up, i hadn't rolled over to open the window. She convinces me to go to Central Park, to talk and to not say a word.
The early afternoon I went grocery shopping and bought some fixins for sangria and a light picnic at the park.
I bought some very cheap red wine (blasphemy i know, but please i'm broke.) 2 plums, an orange, blackberries and strawberries. I bought bananas for the intended Banana Cake I was going to make. I also purchased a small bottle of Hennessey Cognac...which proceeded to crack me up through the remainder of the day.


I made a very simple (read:SWEET) Banana Cake, chopped some fruit and put the fruit in the wine/brandy concoction. I found a thermos to transport the drinks, and my light picnic was complete!




I met Smooth Jenna B and Damien at her apartment and we headed to Central Park. The weather was remarkable; warm and sunny. Which was good for someone who did not want take her sunglasses off all day. We got to the park, hiked up some awkwardly placed nature and all got a little tipsy from sucking fruits and talking about life.

We headed back to Queens and went back to Jenna's apartment. Covered with art work and eclectic trinkets; dried fruits, lofty pillows, fresh flowers, it was the perfect place to be happy it was Saturday and that there were no plans.
Jenna made omelettes and I chopped organic vegetables for the HUGE salad we were about to make. With avocados, sprouts, carrots, red cabbage, sweet onion, lentils and sesame dressing it was a colorful masterpiece. "Welcome to my world".

It was a good night of sitting near open windows and smoke. A combination that confirms spring is here.